One Year Natural

This month marks my first year natural. It's been an interesting year with my induction being a short, short cut. As time went on I discovered I had no longer had the desire to force my hair to stay coily and let it fro to its natural state. I learned what would work for my hair, what would dry it out, and what would make it shine (like last month). I had days when I wondered why I thought going natural was a good idea and other days I would comb my hair into a crowning afro that garnered the attention of even black folk.


From the start at 2 inches to the length I've acquired over the year, I must say I'm proud to have taken this "journey" on and reaching one year makes the days ahead all the more exciting! Yes, it's just hair as some tell me like I really don't know that. But it's so different for me, this natural thing, that it's been similar to learning something new. It's fun and it's mine to enjoy so I'm going to enjoy it!! Breaking out of the monotony that was relaxed hair was a bit unnerving at the start, the only time I'd had hair that short was when I was very, very young. A time I don't remember. So it's an achievement and I'm thankful my stylist mom has been there, however reluctant, to help me tame it, nourish it and stay natural. She even learned to "deal" with this new hair and I'm so glad she did.

It was my mom who excitedly washed my hair last weekend, blow dried it into the large fro you see here, then flat ironed it into submission. I had to have one full inch cut from the ends, which taught me to get a good trim every 3 months to avoid hanging on to dead ends for that long. All in all, my hair was just gorgeous. It shined and had layers that grew into place naturally, much like my daughter's hair grows. My hair is now the length it was before mom cut the relaxed ends off. It's far more layered than I ever wore it relaxed, but basically, it's all there.

This year was the beginning of a pretty cool journey. I wonder what this next year will hold for my natural hair. I'll just brace myself for a bumpy ride.

Um, braids

It's late October and around the Mile High City it's starting to get pretty chilly outside. I'm quickly approaching my first "Nappiversary" and I'm thrilled but it also makes me think more about what I need to do for my hair to keep it healthy and growing strong.

This time last year, well in November 07, I was newly natural and thought I could wear Wash and Go's (WAGs) every day. I didn't just think this was a good idea, I actually wet my hair virtually every day to get the look I wanted. It was short, about 2 inches all over, so I couldn't exactly do any protective styles because I wasn't comfortable with that length in twists or braids and I'm not one who wants fake hair to add length. Wetting my hair via co-washes was what I did but I can not and will no do that this year.

My hair is much longer now, about 6 or 7 inches all over, but it is time to protect my hair from the cold weather. When dryness is your hair's M.O. you have to take the lead and be sure to hold on to every bit of moisture you can get. So protective styles it will be.

I decided, last night, to try out box braids (single braids). They turned out better than I hoped but they still are kind of...hm. I don't think I want to wear them out - although I did today - because they don't feel as cute as I would like but I do think I'd like them if someone else could do them for me. Go figure. It seems most styles look better, in my opinion, when someone does them for me. That doesn't help me take care of my own hair the way I hoped when I went natural.

So to keep it simple I will braid my hair and leave them in unless I go out. Maybe I can talk my stylist, aka mom, into braiding it for me small enough that I can leave them until December? Wouldn't that be fabulous?!

In a World of Weaves

In September I took a trip to Mexico with a bunch of ladies. When you, as a natural, venture out with Black women who stick religiously to weave hair for styling it can become glaringly obvious that natural is still not the norm. At what point did we as a race of women decide that our hair was good for little else than gluing or braiding fake hair into it? Am I crazy for thinking that we've bought into the euro-ideology that longer and straighter is better?

Three of the 8 of us was weaved to the max. I am natural, the other two relaxed. The rest: colors, length for days, and straight as Indian hair - weaved to the max. Even my own mother decided to top her "love knot" off with a coily ponytail for our night out. Weave, weave, everywhere.

Is straight hair better? Prettier? Although I have my moments of insecurity, I always find myself back at the same conclusion. Straight hair is in fact more common, maybe more manageable, definitely tends to be shinier - but better or prettier, surely not.

I once was asked by a woman whose opinion I once respected "a woman's hair is her crowning glory - so why would you chop it all off"? How can chemically altered or just plain FAKE be any more of a crowning glory than my naturally coily, cottony in some places head of hair?

In a world of weaves it can be hard to strut your stuff when yours is a head of shorter, "poofier" hair that tends to be less common. It's sad that nearly a year into this natural thing I still find myself a shrinking violet in a garden of fake daisies. I could just kick myself.

In a good place

My hair is finally doing what I hoped it would all along. It's got this fun twisted look that I'm able to manipulate into a face-framing coil fest and I'm loving it! So how'd I get here?

I had my hair colored a few weeks back - a really warm cinnamon brown I wasn't exactly expecting but my stylist, aka mom, took matters into her own hands and luckily I always like what she does. SO, while she twisted my hair she suggested I take small sections and run a moisturizer through each one so my hair won't be so dry.

"My hair will be a greasy mess," I retorted.
"Okay then, do what you do," she replied.

When I got home and was finally forced to take out the twists (my mom's an hour away and I'd gone on a mini-vacay) I decided to try her method. None of mine were working after all. It took FOR-EV-ER to oil each little section before I twisted it and I hoped, with each twist that this would work.

I went to bed, woke to some serious oil slicks on my pillow and my hair tie but as I untwisted each twist I discovered gorgeous coils that actually shined! Yes, MY HAIR shines using this method. Oil was too greasy, my hair didn't absorb it all and I don't know how to use any less so I tried a leave-in conditioner and didn't like that. Recently I tried a light hair "dressing" or grease by TCB and it looks and feels really great!! Then I can gently separate the twists for this gorgeous twist-out. I'm just lovin' it.

The lesson? Some naturals have to force moisture into the hair and if it's thick enough that requires we divide that stuff up. Grease may not be moisturizing my hair, but it holds in the moisture I do have after washing/conditioning/and deep treatments. It looks and feels happy so I'll stick with it until this head of hair decides it doesn't want to do it anymore...then we'll be back to the drawing board!

Updated Pictures - 8/08

This crazy combed out afro shows just how "big" my hair has gotten...and I am LOVING it!



At some point I gave up on the idea that I had, HAD, to define my curl pattern and there's such a freedom to truly accepting my hair's texture instead of fighting it - which is how I felt when trying this product and that one to make this head of hair curl. I do let it go curly some days, but most days I'm in a protective style or an afro.


It's growing pretty quickly, although I'm at a point where it's not long and it's not short. Which is why I stick close to protective styles so I don't have to even think about it too hard!

To Dye or Not to Dye - That is the question

"You're not natural if you put chemical on your hair - ANY chemical," said the hairstylist mother to the daughter with newly natural hair.
"Well I'm not wearing this gray, so let's get to coloring!" I told my mom.

Because the work vs. stay-home debate among women isn't enough to argue about. Or light-skinned women have it easier than dark-skinned women. We as women have more than enough to discuss amongst ourselves, but when I heard the insanity of to dye or not to dye I knew I had surely heard it all.

In short, very short, I decided to go without relaxer because getting I wanted to be able to do what I wanted with my hair like wash it daily after hitting the gym. Simple as that. Over time it has become so much more about loving the hair texture God gave me. At 29, and since I was 16, I have no desire to be as gray as I am. Therefore I color. Period, dot.

I do me, and that means I do semi-permanent every six weeks or so. And once I find a color I think I'd like I'll make it a lighter shade of brown. If you like henna to dye your hair, more power to you, if you take natural to the fullest degree, even more power to you. I'm sure when I'm older I let the grays fly free, but today? Today I will chemically alter my hair color and I remain natural because for me, that means free of relaxer. Need I say more?

Castor Oil? Who knew??

My hair was indeed a hot, fiery mess earlier this month but I got a wild hair and decided to try out the unopened bottle of castor oil I purchased months ago. I poured some into my hand and thought, "Oh gross, what could this do for anyone but loosen the bowels?" It was almost sticky and tough to apply to my hair, but I got it done and tossed on my head rag and waited.

About an hour or so later I decided to shampoo (Cream of Nature's Moisturizing) and condition (Silk Elements Luxurious Conditioning) and hope for the best. And the best was just what I got. My hair was so soft and manageable, where usually I have a lot of tangles I could slide the comb through my hair post-castor oil treatment. I was so excited about that that I decided to twist my hair because it was just so easy to work with. A day or so later, once my twists had completely dried I looked closely at a twist and noticed...what's that?...something I haven't seen since my relaxer days?....oh SNAP, is that SHEEN? I was th-rilled. I didn't think my hair could shine, but man did it ever with that castor oil.

I have worn my twists and currently a twist-out since last Wednesday, almost a week now, and have not had my usual "itchies" or temptation to co-wash to get that product build-up feel out (there hasn't been any!). I don't know what will happen on my next treatment with castor oil, but it makes me so happy I could dance! Who knew it'd work for anything more than the grandparents' remedy for tummy aches? SNAP!

A Hot, Fiery MESS

It's early August and it's hot. It's too hot for a 'fro, it's too hot to keep the wild-child suspended beneath a bandana. So what's a girl to do? This hair of mine it a hot, fiery mess and I don't know what to do with it anymore!

You should see it, it's an untamed 'fro that just needs some help. There's no curl definition - my trusty product seemed to dry it out - and again, wearing a hair-hat aka 'fro is just not an option when we're in the mid-90s!

I'm off to Mexico next month and as I look ahead I'm going to try out some styles now and see what I decide on for my vacation. From cornrows, no synthetic hair added, to comb coils I've got to find something to help get me through the hottest time of the year. I'm sure the hubby and the kids are sick of looking at my hair wondering, What is she gonna do with that mess? After all, I know I'm sick of wondering the very same thing.

Eight Months In

I'm about 8 months into this natural hair journey of mine and I'm happier and happier I decided to go natural. I have to be honest, not every day is so giddy. Lately I find myself looking for ways to tuck my coils away in protective styles that allow me to take a break from the necessary styling. Not because I don't like my hair but it can get tedious having to pick out my hair - into my signature afro - or condition it for my curlier days. It just requires I do something to it every day. I may not be going out, but I know my family gets tired of me looking crazy around the house or with a rag tied on my head.

Natural hair, especially when it's shorter and unwilling to be pulled into a ponytail, just demands more time. Plain and simple. But there are days I simply lonnnnng for the ease of a ponytail.

Funny thing is, I have a, as we speak, a puff of a ponytail on the back of my head. It's so cute, only half of my hair, and I'm so glad it's growing...it's strong...it's beautiful. It only gets more so with every passing month.

It's Been Awhile

It's been awhile since my last post and I have some major growth to go along with that amount of away time. As my hair grows, each strand seems to display its own texture as if it's proud to be different. Much like my children, my hair never ceases to amaze me.

Today after I wet it in the shower my hair had some fabulous coils here and there, primarily around the perimeter of my head. Those coils are so darned cute. Then there's the area in the front that proceeds to the middle of my head, much like a mohawk, that is a cottony cloud. So imagine this, coils, not really curls so much - more like a spring that has sprung from a pen, running along the outside of puffy, poufy cloud.

What on earth is a girl to do with that combination? I'll tell you the only way to get my whole head in a uniform look is to, with conditioner - and I mean a lot of conditioner - comb it all out. Then my whole head is a cottony cloud, usually leaving behind just a coil or two that has made its hiding place behind my ear.

I am still amazed by natural hair and by the fact that more black women don't have a clue what their hair is like under that relaxer. Natural hair is beautiful, it's versatile, it is a part of what makes us different from straight-haired women. In reality, most of the straight-haired women can do nothing else with that texture, so why pull my coils into submission to look like everyone else? For me, natural hair is what makes me stand out. I am not my hair, but I'm glad that what my hair does say about me is that I'm happy with ME...naturally.

Black Girl

What is it about being a black girl that can make things far more difficult than they have to be? When I was growing up in Dayton, Ohio, I was a quiet, shy little girl with very few friends. The friends I did have at that time looked like me or were white. As a "high yella" girl with long black hair, I was not a favorite among the brown-skinned girls whose hair tended to be much shorter. I think it was then in my life that I decided what color meant. I learned it from black people, not white people, girls who were black just like me.

I was often taunted, pushed and intimidated by brown-skinned girls as though I thought I was better, cuter, smarter than they. Quiet as I was there was no other reason for them to harrass me than the skin God chose to cover me in. I sho' didn't take boys they liked, I didn't get into boys until I was about 12 years old - for real. Somewhere along the line they had learned that there is a graduation of color that goes from dark to white and the closer you fall to white, the better. To them, I suppose, I was better.

To me, it's pointless to argue the light-skinned vs. dark-skinned with a dark-skinned woman because it's like white people telling me there is no racism. I always want to tell them, You are not black so what do you know? If I feel there are forces at work against me because I am a black woman a white person should accept it and move on because he or she can never know where I am coming from. So when a dark-skinned woman says she feels the opposite end of the spectrum is treated better in whatever ways, I take it with a grain of salt.

I believe we all want what we can't have. Many darker women marry lighter men, even white, in hopes to have a lighter child. I hoped the children growing inside my womb would take on more coloring of their father, who is dark-skinned, because I wanted to teach my daughter differently: she was beautiful because of her skin and no one could make her feel inferior unless she allowed them to. I teach my daughter the same thing now, only I guess I wanted to be the great light hope in a world of dark-skinned sisters who seem to feel that my lighter skin makes them less beautiful, less desirable, less.

We as black women have to take the power back from white America who has insisted that we be separate. If they can separate the black race, they've won, but when they've separated black women our entire being is threatened. What about our cocoa, caramel and chocolate babies? Where will our beautiful black men lay their tired heads? We'll be a people divided because some are closer to the "white is right" end of the spectrum when white America couldn't care less about any of us. America has stripped us of who we as a people are and we believe all of their lies. Do we really want to continue to give them all of our power?

I'm Here...Finally!!!

So we've had some major computer issues. I've missed writing so badly my journal is loading up quickly, but I guess that's not such a bad thing. But I'm back, and I'm so glad I am!

The hair...we've tried a few things out, a mayonnaise deep treatment (questionable at first but when I started styling it and it dried, it was sooo soft and sooo curly! wow). But today I had my mom twist my hair up and I actually like it! The idea is to wear it in a twist out tomorrow for Easter Sunday, and I will, but I think this twisted 'do will be nice for a break from the daily "grind" that is my hair styling.

It's healthy, it's growing and I've stopped stressing about the whole "is it dry, will it break off, am I doing it right??" thing so I think I've hit a good stride with this natural hair and I'm never, ever going to look back.

I said it - N E V E R!!!

Three Months Along...

In pregnancy, three months along for me meant the onset of the extreme, violent, forceful vomiting that would kick into high-gear in month four. But the increasing nausea made it clear that the ugly side of pregnancy was well on its way.

Where this hair of mine is concerned? It's beginning to feel the same way. My hair is so incredibly dryyyyy and I'm so very sick and tired of it ALREADY. I'm only three months in and I'm still trying hard to figure out what the heck I'm gonna do with this mess of mine.

Hopefully I'll have a much happier, lighter update for you soon...right now? I'm struggling.

Bad Hair Days are Just Plain BAD

Back in the days of relaxed, long, flowing hair a bad hair day was all-too-easy to remedy: PONYTAIL. The ponytail was a very common hair "style" for me before my Big Chop and it never, ever failed me. Between a soft brush and some moisturizer, there was no stopping a smooth, pretty ponytail.

Fast-forward to post Big Chop.

"Mommy, I don't like your hair like that," said my usually complimentary 3 year old son.

"You DON'T?" I ask. "Well, I don't either." If you ever need an opinion...ask Nasir, he knows what he likes and will tell you whether it's good or bad!

In an attempt to soak my third child (aka my hair) in moisture I washed it then did an olive oil treatment followed by another wash and twisting. Now I wasn't planning on sporting this 'do anywhere but today I decided to take a little jaunt to the bookstore. I could have easily unleashed my twists, sprayed with water and applied gel to bring it down a bit, but why go through all that? So I went out with the twist-out (picture D.L. Hughley only wilder). Can you say BAD HAIR DAY?

But when your hair is about 3.5 inches long what do you DO? I am not a wig kinda girl, I just see my wig being twisted the wrong way or itching my head...no thanks. And if I did have a hat I was wearing a sweat suit, what hat goes with THAT look? Plus, short hair and a baseball cap...I'll pass on looking like a boy. It occurred to me that I could have used a headband or scarf to make it look better but I was already in the car well on my way.

"Just rock it like you planned on your hair looking like this" has been my motto since the Big Chop and today I did just that. Surprisingly I didn't get any second-takes from the few moms that were at the bookstore. I guess I rocked it like "this is hot ain't it?" Or they figured I preferred it this way.

So with each day I find more interesting trials to overcome but I really try hard to do it with at least a little bit of class. Heck, if I don't I'll be stuck at home trying to "fix" my hair when it's just better to take it with a grain of salt and buy several more scarfs to tie around my head. Now THAT is a safe bet.

Natural Hair is TOTALLY Different

It seems to have taken ages for the hair product market to catch up to the Black woman's desire for long, straightened hair once the relaxer took hold of our culture but now you can find an endless supply and variety of hair moisturizers, shiners, glossifiers, you NAME it, they make it.

Now go into the beauty supply store to find something specifically made FOR and good for natural hair and you're going to struggle. An employee at Trade Secrets in Fort Collins knows what Black women should try because her manager is Black and tests products for said use. That's wonderful, I thought, because just a few years ago I went into a chain salon to get my hair washed...yes just WASHED...and the stylists looked at me (and my relaxed hair) like I had 3 heads!

"We don't do Ebony hair," was the response. I was just happy she was upfront because not all of them are!

So Trade Secrets is moving up in the world. Then it occurred to me, I wonder if the manager has relaxed hair, so I asked.

"Yes, it's relaxed. Oh, and we know how to do relaxers too, someone came in to show us!" the employee said excitedly. Funny.

"Oh, well my hair is natural and I know, from experience, that my hair won't react to products the way relaxed hair does. Thanks for your help though!" I said.

She probably has no clue, to this day, what the difference is but after trying a few things my mom suggested I realize there are some key ingredients to look for in products for natural hair. Thanks to nappturality.com I got some help on this.

If your hair is natural, use products with the following ingredients and you almost can't go wrong!

*glycerin - A humectant and emollient, it absorbs moisture from the air, thereby keeping moisture in.

*cetearyl alcohol - Leaves hair feeling softer

I am aware that many ingredients are considered unsafe, but if you are looking to buy products on the market these two are pretty good as far as natural hair goes. You can also make your own (see Motown Girl for recipes) or you can buy natural hair products, from Carol's Daughter and, I'm sure, many other makers.

By the way, one of my newest FAVORITE products is Aussie 3 Minute Miracle Reconstructor, you get curls very similar to the result you get when using Mixed Chicks for only $3!! WooHOO!!

My Favorite Products

As of today, I have a few favorite hair products that make my curly mane look and feel just how I like it. And, you'll be glad to know because I know I am, that they are all very affordable!

-Mixed Chicks Leave-In Conditioner ($11-12)
-Proclaim w/Aloe Vera & Protein Activator Gel ($1.50-3 depending on size)
-Pantene Classic In Control Mousse ($2-3)
-Pro Line Comb-Thru Softener AND their Lite Creme Moisturizer ($6 total)

I "water wash" my hair (get wet daily in the shower) then apply the Pro Line products, then either the Activator gel or mousse, depending on what I feel like. The mousse will give nice curl with hair that newly washed or at least conditioned in the shower, but the activator gel will do a great job on hair that lightly misted or soaked.
The Mixed Chicks product is used after washing (no-poo wash or just water wash) and you can get by with just that for the day. I don't use the MC product daily because it's the most expensive but it's perfect when I don't want to wonder how my hair will turn out for, say a party or event where I want to look my very best. As an at-home mom, gel or mousse does the trick and I'd even use one of those if I worked. Want MAJOR curls and got some dough to put into it? Mixed Chicks will do the job well.
I have tried Miss Jessie's product Curly Pudding (the purple one) and gotten fabulous curls but A) it's expensive ($30+), B) left my curls a bit too hard for my taste, C) leaves white flakes in my hair when it dries after 2 days so it would require a wash every other day. There are other products through Miss Jessie, but this particular one did not work well for me.
Another product that does not help natural hair is oil sheen, it just sits on the hair, and the Proclaim Glossing Polish just absorbs into the hair. I haven't found anything that shines my hair yet, but Motown Girl has a suggestion or two I'll be trying soon...I'll let you know how it goes for me!

If you have any product tips or ideas, let me know! I'm willing to try just about anything!

Travel...and the Hair

With so many important issues plaguing our world today I often think...and my blog is about hair. But, there's plenty out there about Bush, the war, our 2008 election (thank the Lord!), and hunger in third world countries. I won't apologize for having a blog all about my hair and that of many women of color, so Happy New Year and thanks for stopping by!!

{{{{{{Now back to your regularly scheduled programming}}}}}

My darling husband's pretty cool career often allows us little getaways to various sporting events around the country. Over New Year's Eve it whisked us away to Orlando, Florida for four days in the warm, humid climate that I longed for after two back-to-back snow storms and extremely cold weather plagued the Mile High City. I worried a bit about what I would wear, I didn't have much by way of summer clothes then it occurred to me: I'd never worn natural hair in humidity.

"This should be interesting," I thought.

I quickly decided it might be best to just go with what I know. How much damage could the wet air do, right? So I started packing. My hair just might LOVE the moisture, in Denver we have none.

-Curl Activator hair gel
-"lite" moisturizer (why can't they spell it correctly?)

Check, check. No curling irons, combs, ponytail holders, nothing. I hoped for the best and we were off.

When I got to Orlando all was well. My hair, to me anyway, appeared to take waaay more product to curl it up, but as it dried it seemed to get a bit bigger (read: poofy) with some curlier curls right along the edges where it is a bit thinner.

"Maybe it's time for a cut," I thought. "Babe, if I need to get it cut every couple of weeks I'll have to let it grow out, I can't keep up with that kind of maintenance." Silence from babe. I know he's so sick of my drama where the hair is concerned but he still has to hear it!

Needless to say my hair was wonderfully behaved although each day I had to stand under a stream of hard water to help loosen or "open up" my curls, as Jayla says. The water made my hair feel like I'd dumped salt or baking soda all over it and the water couldn't compete.

"Had to be the water." I know natural hair loves water but not hard water, so I'm chalking any poofies up to that lovely water provided by the Peabody Hotel...I can't wait to get back home to my OWN water issues to wash it and get back to normal. But I might still need a cut, definitely a color because the gray simply does NOT curl it's just straight and wiry, somehow I'll have to work my hair into submission so I can let it grow. We'll see what happens!!!

Happy NEW YEAR by the way!!